The Truth by Neil Strauss

Originally published: August 10, 2016  

Photo credit: Stephanie Potsch (via my phone :'D)

I just finished a book called The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships by Neil Strauss last night — I stayed up until four in the morning because I seriously couldn't put it down. I dare say that it is probably the most honest and exhaustive exploration of love and sex that there is. This is no Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (though, granted, that book makes some solid points too) ... this is real life. This is the tough shit. The stuff no one wants to hear or talk about. I respect Strauss as a writer so much (he wrote another great book that fundamentally changed my view on the world called Emergency), because he asks the right questions — questions we've probably all asked ourselves at one point or another, like "Is it natural or even possible for humans to live monogamously?", "What constitutes a healthy relationship?", "Can romantic love and sexual attraction to one person really stand the test of time or are we kidding ourselves?" — and genuinely follows them to their conclusion, no matter where they may lead or whatever his personal agenda (in this case, sexual freedom). On top of that, these are conclusions fully rooted in the foundation of hard-earned, personal experience. He has a theory? He goes out and tests it. On himself. I tell you, this guy has tried nearly all forms of relationship styles known to man in order to find out what works for him personally (if you want to know which that is you can always ask me, but I recommend just reading the book) and seriously did his homework beforehand, consulting experts such as Dr. Daniel Amen, Dr. Helen Fischer, and the therapists at the sex addiction clinic where he started out, along the way.

It doesn't matter who you are, whether you're in a relationship, what kind of relationship that is, or if you even want to be in one ... this book is for you. Because, ultimately, as Strauss finds out, the most important relationship to cultivate is the one with yourself. Relating well with others, no matter at what level, naturally follows if you do it as your authentic self. Personally, his experiences took me on a wild ride deep into my past and subconscious, shaking me to my very core, and for that I am indebted to him. So, here's a tip: keep the Kleenex close by. 

(Oh, and before you read it you should be aware that half of it is basically porn, some of which I'm not sure was entirely necessary, but it all truly serves a higher purpose in the end. Trust me.)